All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
