K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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