does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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