I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
