first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
