When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize