i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
