NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
