Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
