somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Michael Bay diarrhea
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
