why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
