She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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