I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
