school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
