Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need a beard to bite.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
