so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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