But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
