Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
