i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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