she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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