evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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