Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
