After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize