Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
