don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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