He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
