i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
