Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
