You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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