ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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