NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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