Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
