what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
