I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
