New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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