also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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