I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
