If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
