East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
