Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
