Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You took a bar mat shot.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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