Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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