Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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