i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
