This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
