Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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