ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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