You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
