Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
