he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Someone signed my nipple.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
