adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
