would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
