I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
