It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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