Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
