Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
