Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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