the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
