i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
