He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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