He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
