I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
