so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
