u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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