She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize