ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize