They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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