I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
