as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
