There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
