My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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