carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
